Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What do you like about McDonald's?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Germany’s Merz ventures into Trump’s lion’s den - politico.eu

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

FDA rushed out agency-wide AI tool—it’s not going well - Ars Technica

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

2026 NFL mock draft: Version 1.0 from expert has Steelers finding Big Ben's replacement as 5 QBs go Round 1 - CBS Sports

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Horoscope for Tuesday, 6/10/25 by Christopher Renstrom - SFGATE

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can count

Resilience may protect against psychopathic traits in people with childhood trauma - PsyPost

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How do you know if your husband loves you truly and deeply?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

How do Greeks identify themselves in terms of civilization? Do they feel more connected to Western or Middle Eastern civilization and why?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

The dancing monk: Why mature people don’t chase total control - Big Think

I see through liars

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Europe cuts interest rates as Trump's tariffs loom - BBC

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why is Trump so disliked worldwide?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can read

What is your opinion on the belief that one can change their life by changing their thoughts and having a positive mindset?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Black Cat's Walking Pad Technique Will Leave You Questioning Everything You Know About Exercise - PetHelpful

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter